


The Trajectory of Failure

by bob2ff



Series: Miracles Hijinks [9]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst and Humor, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-21 21:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1564835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bob2ff/pseuds/bob2ff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kasamatsu fails once, twice, more than three times, and picks himself up to begin again every time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trajectory of Failure

**Author's Note:**

> Written for BPS Challenge 69 (Beginnings).

His first year at Kaijou, Kasamatsu Yukio is hopeful, glad, and happy to be in a school with such a celebrated basketball team. He isn’t very confident in his basketball ability, but he  _loves_  the game, and so hopes in a school this great, he can develop the ability to be worthy of it. There are  _so many_  possibilities in a school this eminent, after all.

He gets into the second string upon tryouts, and is proud of himself. At a school this elite in basketball, second string is an accomplishment on its own. He starts wearing knee-high socks when he reads in B-ball Monthly about its ability to support legs and reduce muscle burden. Kasamatsu needs all the help he can get, especially if he is going to make it to first string. He makes the effort to absorb all the basketball tips he can find, all in order to get good at this game he loves so much.

Kasamatsu meets Kobori Koji, and strikes a casual, relaxed friendship with him immediately. He is quiet and calm, and Kasamatsu gets along with this type of guy the most.

As for Moriyama Yoshitaka — when Kasamatsu first meets him, he slings an arm around Kasamatsu, and declares, eyes sparkling, “We will  _both_ definitely get girlfriends by the end of the year! Kaijou’s basketball team is popular among girls, after all.”

Kasamatsu has kicked him in irritation before he even finds out his name, asking incredulously if he is there to play basketball or pick up girls. Moriyama takes suspiciously long to answer, before answering “Girls!”, then, “Wait, no, basketball!”, then finally, “Both!”

Eventually, however, Moriyama grows on him. Even if he is always dragging Kasamatsu and Kobori with him to pick up girls, when Kasamatsu is useless with his bright red face and incoherent stuttering. And Kobori, his quiet, calm demeanour so understated girls tended to overlook him.

But Kasamatsu is glad that they are both on Kaijou’s basketball team, together with him. They survive second string training together, passing towels and buckets when they puke. They work hard after school, with the shared goal of reaching first string.

Kasamatsu is secretly doubtful if he has the natural capability to do so — after all, he doesn’t have Moriyama’s unique, unusual shooting form, or Kobori’s build and speed with defense. And point guards are the most difficult position to aim for, as the stronghold position mostly reserved for captains. So he tries to set his expectations lower, and tries for small forward instead.

Moriyama and Kobori move to first string ahead, without him, when the first announcements come around. Kasamatsu smiles and pats them on the back, and even tags along willingly when Moriyama excitedly drags them to a party with the Kaijou female basketball team party to celebrate.

But he goes to the outdoor courts near his house after that day, and practices layups, over and over again. He practices his footwork, over and over again, until he is exhausted, and can crash into bed that night without thinking about how he has failed.

Kasamatsu continues his training in the second string alone, but still joins Moriyama and Kobori after school for additional practice. He learns a lot, and gets better, when they teach him some first string training drills. And after his training with them, he goes to the outdoor courts and trains some more.

The next time tryouts for first string come around, Kasamatsu takes a gamble, and aims for point guard. He figures he shouldn’t shortchange himself — if he is going to play for Kaijou, he means to play for them as point guard, and not anything else.

He makes the first string, finally. He kicks Moriyama when he tries to get Kasamatsu to celebrate with the girls. He prefers celebrating playing an impromptu one-on-one game with Kobori at the gym after school, anyway.

When second year rolls around, they meet Hayakawa, a first year talented and solid enough, strong enough, to make the first string on only the second tryout rounds. He may be loud and incoherent most of the time, but he fits seamlessly with their team dynamics.

Playing with Kobori, Moriyama, and Hayakawa, Kasamatsu finally feels like he belongs in Kaijou. He finally feels worthy of this school, as one of the blue elites in basketball. He feels almost invincible, playing basketball with a team that good.

Then the Interhigh comes around. After the preliminary matches, Kasamatsu replays the moment over and over in his head again. Willing himself to go back to that time, and stop his hands from making the pass that missed. He tries to train himself to exhaustion in the outdoor courts near his house, to forget, but finds that it doesn’t work.

The moment is seared in his memory, such that it has ruined  _basketball_  for Kasamatsu, something he never thought could happen. The failure makes Kasamatsu fearful of something he used to love.

So he tries to resign from the team. But then Coach Takeuchi makes him captain. At the time, Kasamatsu thought that was the cruellest decision Takeuchi could have made. But the decision shoves a responsibility onto Kasamatsu that makes him face his fear head on, and try to begin loving basketball again.

When the announcement is made, it takes everything Kasamatsu has to hold his head up high, when whispers broke out, and protests, and frustration, rears at both Takeuchi and him.

But Hayakawa cheers loud enough to drown the rest of them down, and Moriyama slams a hand on his back, smiling widely, telling him the girls will  _definitely_  flock to them now. Kobori’s quiet hand on his shoulder, and an encouraging smile.

So Kasamatsu begins again, tentatively trying his new role of leadership. It helps him love basketball all the more stronger. It makes him all the more proud of being in Kaijou.

When he meets Kise, Kasamatsu is slightly surprised that he does not feel inadequate in the face of all that talent and potential, that ruthless reminder of how his own basketball could never be. But then he realizes that he has learnt enough as the leader of Kaijou not to doubt his own ability with basketball. For all his talent, Kise was an irritating idiot, anyway. So Kasamatsu adds another member on his team to kick about whenever he gets irritated.

With Kise, Kasamatsu discovers a new faith in Kaijou, and in his basketball. With Kise, he discovers the ability to put his faith in an ace, someone so good in basketball Kasamatsu truly believed Kaijou could become invincible.

Then they lose, devastatingly, to Touou. And Kasamatsu suddenly feels like the first year who had initially failed to get into the first string, the second year who had failed and lost his high school the Interhigh, and the passably adequate third year point guard trying to lead a team better and more skillful in basketball than himself. He feels like he is trying to reach something far above and beyond he would never be.

But Kasamatsu looks at Kaijou. He looks at Kise, trying his hardest against Aomine Daiki, a player more insurmountable than even Kise himself, with all his talent and potential. He looks at Moriyama, Kobori and Hayakawa, still faithfully looking to his leadership even after all his failures.

So he yells at his team to keep their heads up high, as one of the top eight teams in the country. And is proud of them when they follow his lead despite everything, and do so.

But on his own, Kasamatsu finally breaks down. He wonders how he can even begin again, when it feels as though he will never be good enough.

The loss permanently sears itself into Kasamatsu, and he feels changed because of it. He becomes a little more resigned, a little more cynical. But he keeps a strong head, because that was what meant to be a leader. He couldn’t fall to pieces just because they lost this time. He begins again, this time trying not to hope too much, and leads Kaijou to train, as hard as ever, for the Winter Cup.

When Kasamatsu finally retires as captain, Kaijou is third place at the Winter Cup. That last loss to Shuutoku  _hurt_ , despite Kasamatsu’s new realism and cynicism. Even with all mental preparation, however, losing still hurt. The feeling of inadequacy still arose, despite all the growth Kasamatsu had hoped he had made. Despite all the times he had forced himself to begin again, going through the windows that opened when doors closed.

Their last day at Kaijou, Moriyama, Kobori and Kasamatsu meet again on the second string courts. They smile at each other, and play one last, impromptu game. Revelling in their love for basketball, the game that had brought them equal amounts of joy and pain.

Moriyama talks enthusiastically about the university girls he plans to meet. Kobori smiles his quiet smile and talks about the classes he plans to take. Kasamatsu thinks about his past three years in Kaijou, and the failures that dominated it. He thinks about the failures that lie ahead, in university and in his life. And prepares to begin again.


End file.
